Yesterday it was 65 and sunny. I went to the market and got an application from Penzeys and bought a pair of jeans from H&M. Downtown Seattle is such an experience for me. I see only the hurt manifested there. And the vicious cycle, people flocking to this one part of the city to ask for money because there is so much fucking money right there. Aylee said, talking about Pioneer Square, "It's energetically messed up down there. Bloody. Everything's been taken." True. Build a city on native land, tidal land...build a new city on an old city...blood. Theft.

And H&M, H&M is also such an experience for me, because of Amsterdam, and the relationship that I forged with it there. H&Ms on every corner. "Let's meet up at the H&M!" Popping into the H&M to wander around after a long day. H&M is one of those truly awful retail environments where everything is sorted according to flashy neon color and your fellow customers feel entitled to push you aside to get a closer look at a boombox screenprint, where techno music is always, always blasting. Any other place like H&M, I can spend 3 minutes in before my gag reflex kicks in and I have to bolt. But H&M...H&M is comfortable. H&M feels like home, one of those carved-out home-pieces of my heart. I could, and do, spend hours there. The jeans cost ten dollars, and they had pockets, something that almost none of my other pants have. Inconvenient in the drop-in environment.

I also spent a long time lying in the sun yesterday, by Lake Washington. Beautiful.


I've been looking for fluff to watch, when I come home from work and can't fathom speaking to other people. Struck out on Ally McBeal after a few episodes, when the emotional complexity it exercises in addressing being young and heartbroken lost out to the incredible LACK of complexity it exercises in addressing systems of oppression. Ally McBeal might as well be called the White Lady Privilege Show. FAIL. Then I tried Sex and the City which was...I knew it was a mistake before I even started. TALK about White Lady Privilege.